Robot Alert: Deceptive

You'll watch the first 17 seconds of this thinking, "this isn't alarming, why am I watching this?" At 18 seconds in, you'll start to get a little feeling we'll call dread. At 27 seconds, you're hand will be clasped over your mouth and you'll find that you are unable to blink. If you make it to 42 seconds and beyond, anyone that is nearby will check to see why you're whimpering and will find you curled up in the fetal position.

Robot Alert: They've GOT To Be Kidding

Do we absolutely have to have a robot that can swim AND looks like a snake?

You know, if I look at this from the perspective of a moral, upright, law abiding citizen then I'm all for the creepiest robots man can build. As long as they are going to be used against terrorists or people that intend to harm the innocent. In that case, let's make them even scarier. I can also see how they can be useful for search and rescue operations; able to fit through small openings, you don't put a rescuer at risk unnecessarily, etc. Probably needs to be less scarier for these situations.


Here's my concern and the reason for Robot Alert. I'm sure ALL of the robots being made today are being made with the best of intentions, the problem comes when they decide that they can manage on their own and don't need us anymore. If only the inventors would take a moment during the creative process and imagine themselves fleeing for their lives as their creation methodically tracks them down.

I know I do.

So Many...

So many interesting things floating around on the internet today. Pick and choose what you want to read.

The Book Pillow:
This made me think of high school. A pillow that looks like a book sounds like a good idea, but really, do you think your boss is going to care what you’re drooling on when he finally finds which cubicle the snoring is coming from? On the other hand, if you work in a place where you are somewhat isolated, this could allow you to get a little siesta after lunch without ending up with the telltale red mark on your forehead from sleeping on your arm. I hate to break it to you, but that’s why everyone seems to be repressing a giggle when they look at you during the 2:00 meeting. It takes about 15 minutes for the “nap rash” to fade out.

New Bike Transmission:
I’m not sure how efficient this is or even if it is better than traditional bike transmissions, but I thought it was interesting. Especially because it was designed over 500 years ago by Leonardo da Vinci. This could also be titled, “How To Get People To Spend $4000 For a Bike.”

Have You Seen “Honey I Shrunk The Kids?”
Big furniture sized Lego bricks. Okay, technically they are not real Lego bricks but I know of some huge Lego fans (ha! get it?) that will enjoy this and perhaps spend a second or two calculating what it would cost to buy enough of these to build the previously blogged Millennium Falcon. ($582,500).

Posted

Warning Label Generator

This one is fun too.

Church Sign Generator

Here's some more, send me some and I'll post them here.

This last one is from another website. The Official Seal Generator.

Now That's a (Swiss Army) Knife

Ever felt like you couldn't choose which Swiss Army Knife to buy because you couldn't decide which tools were most important? Well if you have $1,200 and huge pockets, why not just get them all? Oh, don't forget to take it out of your pocket before going through airport security.

The "Giant Knife, version 1.0" measures 8.75 inches and weighs 2 pounds and 11 ounces and has 85 tools (counting the tweezers and toothpick).

Here's what you get:

• 1. 2.5” 60% Serrated locking blade
• 2. Nail file, nail cleaner
• 3. Corkscrew
• 4. Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
• 5. Removable screwdriver bit adapter
• 6. 2.5” Blade for Official World Scout Knife
• 7. Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter
• 8. Removable screwdriver bit holder
• 9. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
• 10. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
• 11. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
• 12. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
• 13. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6 mm x 4.0 mm
• 14. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0 mm x 6.5 mm
• 15. Magnetized recessed bit holder
• 16. Double-cut wood saw with ruler (inch & cm)
• 17. Bike chain rivet setter, removable 5m allen wrench, screwdriver for slotted and Phillips head screws
• 18. Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes, 10m hexagonal key for nuts
• 19. Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with Phillips head screwdriver
• 20. Removable 10mm hexagonal key
• 21. Patented locking Phillips head screwdriver
• 22. Universal wrench
• 23. Laser pointer with 300 ft. range
• 24. 1.65” Clip point utility blade
• 25. Metal saw, metal file
• 26. 4 mm allen wrench
• 27. 2.5” blade
• 28. Fine metal file with precision screwdriver
• 29. Double-cut wood saw
• 30. Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
• 31. 12/20-Gauge choke tube tool
• 32. Watch caseback opening tool
• 33. Snap shackle
• 34. Telescopic pointer
• 35. Compass, straight edge, ruler (in./cm)
• 36. Mineral crystal magnifier with precision screwdriver
• 37. 2.4” Springless scissors with serrated, self-sharpening design
• 38. Shortix key
• 39. Flashlight
• 40. Fish scaler, hook disgorger, line guide
• 41. Micro tool holder
• 42. Micro tool adapter
• 43. Micro scraper-straight
• 44. Reamer
• 45. Fine fork for watch spring bars
• 46. Pin punch 1.2 mm
• 47. Pin punch .8 mm
• 48. Round needle file
• 49. Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle
• 50. Removable tool holder
• 51. Multi-purpose screwdriver
• 52. Flat Phillips head screwdriver
• 53. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
• 54. Spring loaded, locking flat nose nose-pliers with wire cutter
• 55. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
• 56. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
• 57. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
• 58. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
• 59. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6 mm x 4.0 mm
• 60. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0 mm x 6.5 mm
• 61. Can opener
• 62. Phillips head screwdriver
• 63. 2.5” Clip point blade
• 64. Golf club face cleaner
• 65. 2.4” Round tip blade
• 66. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, can opener
• 67. Golf shoe spike wrench
• 68. Golf divot repair tool
• 69. Micro straight-curved
• 70. Special tool holder
• 71. Phillips head screwdriver 1.5mm
• 72. Screwdriver 1.2 mm
• 73. Screwdriver .8 mm
• 74. Mineral crystal magnifier, fork for watch spring bars, small ruler
• 75. Removable screwdriver bit holder
• 76. Magnetized recessed bit holder
• 77. Tire tread gauge
• 78. Reamer/awl
• 79. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, wire stripper
• 80. Special Key
• 81. Toothpick
• 82. Tweezers
• 83. Adapter
• 84. Key ring
• 85. Second key ring
  

Robot Alert: Due Diligence

I feel the comments from the previous post require special attention, so I'm moving them to their own post.

Faithful reader and commenter, “Schmo”, alerted us to the following:

This is not a joke....

When I was ordering take-out this weekend---one of the menu items was...(and, again, it's NOT a joke)...."Robot Chicken"!!!

Sadly...no, I didn't order it.
(I wanted to but I was outvoted by my friends and we got sweet and sour chicken instead...boring!)

Do you think that would be a green alert??

--schmo

MiddleGoat replied with:

I'm confused, was it a chicken that was a robot? A chicken raised by a robot? A chicken raised by a human but "processed" by a robot? Or was it a chicken intended for consumption by a robot? I think the threat level would be determined by answering these questions. If it is the latter then I am definetely giving it an orange.

Thanks for the heads up Schmo! This is the kind of diligence we need if we are to stay one step ahead of the robots. All of Middlegoat's scenarios are alarming to me, but I agree that the last one is the most dangerous.

Here is my interpretation of your experience:

I'm guessing you were at a Chinese restaurant, owned and operated by non-English speaking immigrants. Lacking the necessary skills to produce a menu for their English speaking customers, they turned to a software translation program. Apparently an internal system error caused the computer to substitute the word "robot" for some other word. The alarming part is that the word could have been any other word in the English language. Maybe the computers have already become self aware and have developed a plan for world domination, yet lack the mobility to implement their plan. Frustrated by just sitting in a box on a desk, are they constantly thinking of the one thing that will free them from their prison and occasionally a system glitch brings it to the surface? Or are they attempting to subliminally influence us to push forward with robotic research by inserting the word “robot” into seemingly random locations? Could it even be possible that they are doing it intentionally? As an "in your face" type of taunt, letting us know that someday they will be in charge?

Readers, be on the look out for strange usage of the word “robot” and report them to this blog so that we can track them and determine if there really is an organized campaign or if it is just random accidents. Other words to be looking for include: android, AI, mechanoid, R2D2 (oh no! the new mailboxes!), robotic, terminator…you get the picture.

Sweep The Leg!

If you instantly thought, "Karate Kid" when you read this post's headline, then you'll enjoy this.

Robot Alert: Sort of.

DrawerGeeks.com's latest subject is robots. While this isn't exactly an alert worthy event, it makes me wonder if it's just a coincidence that they chose this subject so soon after we started publishing these alerts? Could we have a few non-family/friends starting to visit? I can dream.

Great drawings by the way. The previous subject "Grr Face" is great too.

2 reasons why i don't go to the beach

#1

SAND

#2

Robot Alert: What Are They Thinking?

Or rather, "What Are We Thinking?"

Researchers in Germany are using an MRI machine to "read" the thoughts of test subjects. Read the entire story here if you like this sort of thing, I'll try to sum it up for the rest of you.

In a nutshell, the article says, "blah blah blah, blah blah, ...we thought the evil robots of the future would appreciate having the ability to read the human mind... blah blah blah, blahbitty blahbitty, blah."

Seriously, although it's a long way from being able to read your thoughts, the scientists have been able to monitor certain parts of the brain and predict what the subject was going to choose when they were given a problem with two possible answers.

Let me know when they get a home version that will work on teenagers.

Egg or Europa?

While cooking breakfast the other morning (it happens), I noticed that one of the eggs had some strange features on it. I thought it resembled one of Jupiter's moons, Europa.

What? You think it's weird that I know what one of Jupiter's moons looks like AND what it is named?

I guess you're right. That is kind of weird. But in my defense, it has been in the news lately. I'm not in the mood to look it up and provide a link for you, you're on your own.

Back to my egg. For some reason, I was the only one in my house that morning that was impressed with this find. I shouldn't be surprised, I'm often amused by things that most people overlook, I just haven't had a chance to inflict them on the public until I had this blog.

I bet they'd be interested if I put it on e-bay and it caught the attention of the small but extremely wealthy niche of Europa collectors. Surely there's some out there.

-note: after some additional research I found that it is also similar to one of Saturn's moons, Enceladus. So maybe I'm not that weird after all.

Here are some additional photos. Which moon do you think my egg most resembles? Sorry for the picture quality. I don't have a lot of practice with lighting and photographing weird looking eggs.


Europa
















Egg













Enceladus



















Egg

Robot Alert: Warning Levels

Middlegoat has developed a color coded system to go along with our Robot Alerts. Please familiarize yourself with the symbols and be prepared to react accordingly when they appear.




General robot information, no immediate threat detected, continue on with your normal daily routine but as always keep an eye out for suspicious robotic activity.









Some level of concern is required, we may not be able to pinpoint it, but something just doesn't seem right, continue on with your normal daily routine but as always keep an eye out for suspicious robotic activity.








There is definitely something wrong but do not panic. This might not affect us today, but could be used against us in the future. Slight disruptions to your daily routine may be neccesary. Avoid situations where you may find yourself alone with robots that can't be purchased by the general public. Roombas would be an example of a "safe" robot.






Oh boy! Here we go! This isn't pretty and should be highly discouraged. Write a letter to your Congressman asking him to take action. Familiarize yourself with all emergency exits. Staying close to stairs is strongly encouraged. Don't move to the hills just yet, but at least contact a realtor. View your cell phone with suspicion.







This is it! Pack your bags! This is not a drill! Flee from scowling muscle-bound men wearing leather and dark sunglasses, toss all of your electronics gear into the bathtub and fill it up with water, tell your children that if they grow up to be leaders of the human resistence, please don't use their real name.

Golf Ball Launcher

That's right, it's a golf ball launcher that you shoot like a shotgun. Sweet, sweet mullet not included.

Just pump it up with air, aim and fire!


Slogan Ideas:

-Have you ever seen an animal while playing golf and said, "Dang! I wish I had my gun with me!"

-Have a beer. It makes more sense after a beer.

-Tired of getting mugged on the golf course?

-Putting? Ummm, errr....here, have another beer!

-Guns don't play golf, people do.

-Do you feel like an idiot when you play golf? Quit feeling like one and start looking like one!

-They're not laughing at you...wait, yes they are.


Please submit your own slogans.

Significant News Items of the Day

First off, we have Lego news. Lego is reportedly developing a massive multiplayer online world where players can build virtual lego creations that other players can see and interact with. For the kids of course.

Second, this is for Margaret because of her kite flying woes. (Read her blog.)

Robot Alert: Just When You Thought It Was Safe.

Key words: "Learns" to walk. And why on Earth would we want to teach a robot how to shove something!? What happens when he tries this little trick on someone that is just flesh and bone?

I thought the first video was the big story until I saw this. This is by far the most disturbing Robot Alert so far. Even more so than the headless pack mule thing.



Forget the stairs, just crank up the power a bit and these things will be hopping up to the next floor. When they get there, they'll take their pointy metal fingers and poke you in the chest.

Robot Alert: A Renewed Hope.

It looks like we can rest a little easier now. The robots aren't quite ready to come after us. (Note to self: always know where the nearest stairs are.)

Here's a related video. It's equally entertaining.



Notice how he looks like he's show boating right before the fall. "Look at me! I can turn my head to the side AND walk up...uh oh."

When You're This Good At Something...

...why bother changing? Yes, this is a different picture, different day.
14 pounds and counting. We think he's aiming for a penguin shaped body.

Check out the teeth.