As we all know (I hope) Mother's day will descend upon us this Sunday, so let's not forget Mom. Sure, you could go by a card that is dripping with things that would never come out of your mouth, or you could give her wwwdot recognition right here on Threegoat. Give us a good story about your mother, or you can give us a story about ours.
Our mom deserves much credit, she got the three of us through childhood in one piece, some of the pieces had to be reattached, but for now, all pieces are present and accounted for, good job Mom. Now those of you who know Mom are expecting a story about her kindness, her generosity, basically anything dealing with her genial demeanor. Well that’s not what you’re getting from me. No, I thought I would push aside some of the more obvious things in my mental vault and give you some minutia that reveals the true queen of the goats. Seeing as how I am currently 800 miles away from her right now, I consider myself reasonably safe in telling this tale.
We always had pets; cats, dogs, fish, frogs, gerbils, turtles, and yes, briefly a goat. Mom grew up an animal person, so she always took to the pets. There was one cat, however, that never fell under the umbrella of her affection. Cotton was, after all, so feral that Francis of Assisi might have gone in search of a bag and a river. We were enjoying our usual breakfast one morning before school, Mom with her grapefruit, Somegoat and I with our sugarless cereal. Cotton was not so docile. The corybantic feline, for some reason that I’m sure made sense to him, attacked my poor, unsuspecting mother’s leg. What happened next is told in literary slow-motion, the actual event happened in the time it takes to blink an eye. Neither of us were blinking. Mom grabbed the cat by his scruff, tossed him about knee-high in the air, and then punted him through the door on the other end of the kitchen with better accuracy than a Gramatica could muster. All without leaving her seat. We blinked. We turned to each other and blinked again. Then we erupted in laughter.
To this day she denies this event ever happened, but we saw it, and it was cool. And don’t worry about the cat, it probably enjoyed the ride. So the moral of the story is to stay off my mom’s leg.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM!
10 comments:
If we're telling stories that are "denied" then i've got one to this day, she says is false.
only, i can see the scene in my head.
the other goats were gone to school and i sat down for my cheerios (hmmmm, sugarless indeed) and we didn't have milk.
so what other breakfast liquid is there?
orange juice.
yep, orange juice and cheerios (sugarless)...the breakfast of champions.
although i am a champion, that was no breakfast for one.
happy mothers day!
I can back you up on the OJ as cereal milk replacement, but I never actually tried it. It was offered as an alternative, but I declined. I have also had water offered as an alternate cereal emulsifier (according to the internet, this is not the proper use of "emulsifier", but I think it gets my point across).
This is by no means a criticism. Speaking from the perspective of a parent that has also lived through a shortage of milk on a school morning, I've learned that any drinkable liquid becomes a potential milk substitute during a crisis.
That doesn't mean anyone's going to try it (except maybe OtherGoat).
Yes, I can remember being told early one Saturday morning to use OJ, I didn't do it.
Very interesting, Goats....
The Mom suggests OJ and cereal b/c of no milk.
Oldest child: Doesn't do it.
Middle child: Doesn't do it.
Youngest child: Does it.
hmmmmm, I'm no psychologist, but doesn't that say a lot??
--schmo
Ok, well I've already shared a story about my diaper throwing mother, so although there are MANY more I could share about her, I'm going to share one about The Goats' mother instead.
I think she is VERY wise and perceptive. Without even having ever met me...she managed to give me one of the nicest compliments I've gotten. Here's what she said about me....
"Probably with her...what you see is what you get."
I LOVE that!!
It was a high compliment because I try to be genuine in who I am. The reason for that is b/c I get my identity from Christ...and if that authenticity is conveyed to others...then that is a testament to Him and not me.
Now, she may not have said it with all that behind it...but I took it that way!! So THANK YOU, Mama Goat, and Happy Mother's Day to you!
(Oh, to be clear....I've heard of other stuff she's said and it has further proved to me that she is one wise woman, this was just one example.)
--schmo
"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
Heard that all the time when I was growing up.
People often wonder why I'm so quiet.
Another often heard quote, "WIII-ILL!"
things mama goat has said to me:
"the dog is so ugly it looks like one of your drawings."(truth)
"are you being ugly?"
"I can't believe you!"
"was that you? gaaad!"
"Julie,.....margaret....whatever"
"gross"
"now Margaret"
"hurry,finish my vodka!"
"he actually asked you?...you didn't say yes.....did you?"
I have the best mom-in-law EVER!
Thanks for the wonderful memories, those are the best presents[even though they are not all true]. The only thing better would be to see you allllllllll. And if old goat takes me out to eat.
"hurry,finish my vodka!"
aaaahahahahaha
....priceless!!!
--schmo
Oh NO! I missed MotherGoats' Day! I was taking a few days to practice staying on the internet-self-control-wagon. I love MamaGoat SOOOOOO much! I don't want to say that I love her more than my own Mama, but I do ike-lay er-hay etter-bay a lot of the time. Is that bad?? WAIT, DON'T answer that!!!
Where's that vodka?!
Happy Mother's Day month to all the moms!
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