- At least one out of three children will be so unexplicably attracted to mud that purchasing a backhoe and powerwasher to help control the situation makes economic sense.
- At least one out of thee children will at some point vomit on a piece of furniture to the degree that all hopes of salvage are dashed and you and your spouse will pick it up and carry it to the curb even though it is raining and trash day is still a few days off.
- One out of three children, when using a hand held shower head for the first time, will check to see if the spray can reach the ceiling. It can.
- One out of three children will have a family member ACCIDENTALLY close a door on their finger(s).
- One out of three children will have a very strange reaction to pizza with extra, extra, extra cheese. It is called "silly string vomit".
- One out of three children will have a predilection to clogging toilets.
- One out of three children will enjoy school to such a degree that the parents are called in for a meeting with the principal.
- One out of three children will at some point in their childhood make a hole in a wall.
I'm sure there are many more statistical observations that I have missed. Please contribute your own.
5 comments:
I am one out of three children but we are three girls and we are three of the most different people you will ever meet. We three do not fit any of those three. I, however, did throw up an entire mixing bowl of sugar smacks that had not been digested at all and completely covered my pajamas and bathmat to the point that I just threw them in the trash. (college) So can I be considered a tiny bit as normal as ya'll?
I never said anything about it being normal. Maybe I'm using too small of a study group to make such broad statements.
If you include Jeff, you have another group of three children besides you and your sisters that you can provide statistics for.
Wait a minute, are you trying to make me the guy in the football shaped middle of a vin diagram?
I dunno. What's a vin diagram look like?
-1 out of 6 children will be left at a park when they are 2yrs old.
-1 out of 6 children will be left at a restaurant when they are 4yrs old.
-1 out of 6 children will be left at a softball game when they are 4yrs old. (these are each a different child)
-1 out of 6 children will accidently throw away their retainer at a restaurant and will have to go back and dig through the garbage to get it b/c buying a new one was NOT an option.
-1 out of 6 children will give embarassing haircuts to their younger siblings and/or themselves.
-1 out of 6 children will burn items in the microwave.
-1 out of 6 children will walk alone w/o anyone knowing to the neighbors house about a mile down the rual road wearing nothing but a (cloth) diaper and yellow rain boots....when she was 2 1/2yrs old.
-1 out of 6 children will shoot his sister in the back of the head with a bb gun. (Othergoat--I know you're thinking that explains a lot..but, no, it didn't cause any permanent damage)
-1 out of 6 children will convince their sister to help them stage a fight in front of their deaf grandma complete with fake slaps to the face and falling on the bed with silent screams.
-1 out of 6 children will wreck the family van by not putting it in park all the way and so when closing the door, it rolls down the hill and smashes into a fence.
Ahhhhh, memories. There's sooooo many more--I could go on forever...
(The sad thing is that when we get together now...things aren't much different!)
--schmo
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